YOUR ATTITUDE MATTERS PART 9: When Privacy Is Mistaken for Pride

YOUR ATTITUDE MATTERS PART 9

When Privacy Is Mistaken for Pride

A Metropolitan Case Study

Opening

In villages, relationships are measured by availability.

In cities, relationships are measured by respect for boundaries.

The shift is subtle but powerful.

What once looked like warmth slowly transforms into caution.

What once felt like openness begins to demand explanation.

And many misunderstand this transformation as attitude.

Case Study: A Metropolitan Reality

Living in Mumbai for years teaches lessons that no textbook offers.

People speak warmly on phone calls for months, sometimes years.

But addresses are never exchanged casually.

Even close relatives hesitate before sharing personal details.

It is not secrecy.

It is self-preservation.

On multiple occasions, distant relatives or old acquaintances called casually, only to later announce travel plans to Mumbai - often with family, sometimes with unfamiliar companions.

The expectation was silent but clear:

“We will stay with you.”

Declining such requests often invites labels:

• “Changed attitude”

• “City arrogance”

• “Lost relationships”

Yet, when alternatives were offered - meeting outside, visiting workplaces, or suggesting hotels - the insistence disappeared.

The intention wasn’t reunion.

It was convenience.

Urban households function on tight schedules, shared responsibilities, safety considerations, and emotional bandwidth.

Unplanned visits don’t just disturb routines - they destabilize balance.

Privacy, here, is not rejection.

It is structure.

Reflections

• Cities operate on limited time and high density

• Emotional energy becomes a scarce resource

• Hospitality shifts from spontaneity to planning

• Saying “no” becomes a survival skill, not a moral failure

What appears cold is often calculated calm.

Takeaways

• Respecting boundaries is a form of respect, not distance

• Urban behaviour is shaped by context, not character

• Availability does not define affection

• Privacy protects relationships from resentment

From the Desk of the Author

This reflection is not against relationships.

It is in favour of realistic expectations.

I have lived both lives - 

the open doors of villages

and the guarded thresholds of cities.

Neither is superior.

Both are conditioned by environment.

Understanding this prevents unnecessary hurt.

Introspection for the Reader

When someone sets a boundary,

do we ask why,

or do we judge who they’ve become?

Disclaimer

This write-up is based on lived observations and personal experiences.

No individual, community, or culture is targeted or criticised.

The intent is reflection—not judgement.

Rakesh Kushwaha

Educator | Writer

Mathivation HUB

Your Attitude Matters Series