This Is Too Much! Part 24: When Ego Takes the Family for a Ride!
THIS IS TOO MUCH!
Part 24: When Ego Takes the Family for a Ride!
Opening Thought
Human beings have always wanted someone to share their happiness, sorrow, celebrations, worries and even their daily stories with.
Perhaps that is one reason family and community became such important parts of human life.
Family is not merely a biological arrangement.
It is supposed to be a space for sharing and caring.
But sometimes…
one small moment enters the system.
Then ego joins.
Then anger.
Then misunderstanding.
And suddenly…
THIS IS TOO MUCH! 😊
CASE 1: THE MOUSTACHE THAT COST TOO MUCH!
There was once a man named Munshilal.
He had magnificent moustaches.
And he was proud of them!
Whenever he wanted to display his confidence, he would run his fingers over his moustache and give it that traditional upward twist.
In Hindi, we often describe this gesture as:
“Moochh par taav dena.”
Munshilal was cheerful, confident and full of personality.
However, he came from a socially disadvantaged background and worked in a modest profession.
That distinction is important.
This story is not about caste, social status or occupation being indicators of a person's worth.
It is about how ego, hierarchy and uncontrolled anger can turn a trivial moment into a catastrophe.
One day, Munshilal went to the house of a wealthy landlord, whom we will call Rajveer, for some work.
While speaking to him, Munshilal casually touched and twisted his moustache.
Rajveer became uncomfortable.
He ordered:
“Oye Munshi! Moonchh neeche kar!”
Munshilal, perhaps more amused than frightened, replied:
“Nahin karunga!”
Rajveer became furious.
He went inside the house and returned with a gun and cartridges.
The atmosphere suddenly changed.
A harmless gesture had become an ego battle.
Rajveer again ordered:
“Munshi! Moonchh neeche kar!”
Munshilal refused.
And then the situation crossed a line from which there was no easy return.
Rajveer's wife tried to intervene.
She stood between them.
Rajveer shouted:
“Tu side ho ja! Iski itni himmat!”
In the chaos that followed, he fired.
His wife was killed.
Silence.
But instead of stopping, Rajveer again turned towards Munshilal.
“Ab moonchh neeche kar!”
Munshilal still refused.
Rajveer raised the gun again.
This time, his son came running to intervene.
He pleaded with his father to stop.
But anger had completely taken control.
Another shot.
His son was killed too.
Now Rajveer stood there with the consequences of his own rage in front of him.
He had lost his wife.
He had lost his son.
And the argument was still about…
a moustache.
Eventually, Rajveer realised that the gun was empty.
He loaded another cartridge.
His voice had changed.
The anger was mixed with exhaustion, shock and perhaps the first signs of regret.
He looked at Munshilal.
“Munshi… moonchh neeche kar.”
This time Munshilal looked around.
No wife.
No son.
Nobody left to intervene.
He understood the situation.
And in the simplest possible tone, he finally said:
“Lo sahab… kar li moonchh neeche!”
Rajveer stood there in tears.
The moustache had finally come down.
But what had it cost?
WHO WON?
Munshilal's moustache came down.
But Rajveer lost his wife.
He lost his son.
He lost his peace.
And he had to live with the consequences of an anger that began with nothing more than a gesture.
So who actually won?
Nobody.
The real loser was everyone.
That is the mathematics of uncontrolled ego:
Small Ego + Uncontrolled Anger → Disproportionate Loss
A moustache can be raised in seconds.
A life cannot be restored in seconds.
IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER
This story is presented as a dramatic folk parable / moral fable, not as a verified historical account unless independently established through reliable sources.
The names and details are used for storytelling.
The episode does not endorse caste hierarchy, discrimination, social inequality, landlordism, intimidation, firearms or physical violence.
No caste, profession, occupation, economic position or social background determines a person's dignity or worth.
The focus is on the destructive consequences of ego, hierarchy and uncontrolled anger - not on any person's social identity.
Most importantly:
Violence is never the solution to a disagreement.
NOW FOR THE ABSURD SIDE OF EGO!
The first story shows the tragic and destructive extreme of uncontrolled ego.
But ego also has another face.
Sometimes it doesn't produce tragedy.
Sometimes it produces something so ridiculously illogical that all we can do is laugh! 😂
So, after that serious lesson, let's move to a much lighter - and equally foolish - episode from village life.
CASE 2: “PEHLE MERE GHAR WALON KO!”
Now comes another story about our friend Munshilal.
This time, he was travelling in a village train.
Munshilal was known for being funny and jolly.
Unfortunately, the conversation inside the train became heated.
Words became louder.
Tempers rose.
And eventually, it looked as though a physical fight was about to begin.
An angry fellow named Pinku raised his hand, ready to slap Munshilal.
Munshilal suddenly said:
“Ruko! Pehle mere bete ko haath laga ke dekho!”
Pinku looked at him.
And, unbelievably, he slapped Munshilal's son.
Munshilal didn't stop.
He said:
“Achchha… ab meri wife ko haath laga ke dekho. Phir main batata hoon main kya kar sakta hoon!”
Pinku slapped his wife too.
Finally, Pinku slapped Munshilal.
And the fight ended.
Everyone went home.
But the real comedy was still waiting!
When Munshilal reached home, his wife looked at him in disbelief.
“Humein kyun pitwaya?”
Munshilal calmly replied:
“Agar main akela pit jaata, toh tum log mera mazaak banate!”
Everyone stared at him.
Munshilal continued:
“Ab tum dono bhi pit gaye ho… ab kisi ko mera mazaak udaane ka mauka hi nahi milega!” 😂
The family looked at him.
Silence.
And then perhaps someone finally said:
“Munshilal… tussi great ho!” 😃
BUT WHAT IS THE REAL LESSON?
Of course, the second story is absurd.
And that is precisely why it is funny.
But underneath the comedy is an interesting human tendency:
“If I don't want to look bad alone, let everyone share the embarrassment.”
Munshilal's logic was:
If I suffer alone → everyone laughs at me.
So he created:
If everyone suffers → nobody can single me out. 😂
Mathematically:
Personal Loss → Shared Loss
But that isn't really a solution.
It is simply spreading the loss so that the individual loss feels less unequal.
We sometimes see a similar pattern in everyday life - not necessarily through physical conflict, but through blame, excuses and collective justification.
In a workplace:
“Why should I be blamed? Everyone made the same mistake.”
In a family:
“I made the mistake - but you were involved too!”
In a team:
“We all failed, so nobody can point at me.”
The objective quietly changes from:
How do we solve the problem?
to:
How do I avoid being the only one who looks responsible?
And that is another form of misplaced ego.
Problem Solving → Responsibility
is healthier than:
Problem Sharing → Blame Sharing
THE MATHIVATION OF EGO
We can describe the first story with a simple equation:
Small Trigger × Large Ego × Uncontrolled Anger = Catastrophic Outcome
And the second:
Fear of Humiliation + Poor Decision = Collective Suffering
But perhaps the better equation is:
Ego ↑ + Listening ↓ = Conflict ↑
And:
Anger × Time = Consequences
The longer anger remains unchecked, the greater its potential cost.
FAMILY: THE ORIGINAL SHARING NETWORK
Perhaps this is where we return to our opening thought.
Human beings need people with whom they can share.
A celebration becomes sweeter when shared.
A sorrow becomes lighter when shared.
A problem becomes easier when discussed.
A family should ideally be the place where we can say:
“I am happy.”
“I am worried.”
“I made a mistake.”
“I need help.”
“I don't know what to do.”
But sharing should mean:
Sharing joy.
Sharing responsibility.
Sharing care.
Sharing wisdom.
Sharing support.
Not:
“You suffered, therefore I must make everyone suffer too!” 😊
MATHIVATION TAKEAWAYS
-
Ego can turn a tiny issue into a huge conflict.
- Anger can multiply the consequences of a small disagreement.
- Family should be a network of care, not a network for distributing blame.
- Social status, caste or occupation should never determine human dignity.
- Humour can expose foolish behaviour without glorifying it.
- In conflict, stepping back can be wiser than proving who is stronger.
- Some battles are so meaningless that winning them is itself a loss.
And perhaps the most important equation:
Dignity + Listening + Self-Control = Healthy Relationships
ONE CURIOUS QUESTION
If someone challenges your ego over something completely insignificant…
Would you rather win the argument - or protect the relationship?
Because sometimes…
the moustache may finally come down.
But the question is:
What did it cost to make it happen?
And sometimes a person thinks:
“If I get beaten alone, everyone will laugh.”
So he finds a solution:
“Let everyone get beaten!” 😀
Family sharing?
Absolutely.
Family caring?
Definitely.
But sharing the beating?
THIS IS TOO MUCH! 😂
Rakesh Kushwaha
Founder, Mathivation Research Lab
A Mathivation Research Lab Initiative
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